A lot has been going on behind the scenes. Our independent social worker met with the birth mother to go over all the forms with her. She has agreed to sign the waiver so that the adoption becomes irrevocable at 5pm the day after discharge instead of 30 days later. That is a big relief. She really didn't have much to report to us.

Since the birth mother has a past history of depression she needed a competency evaluation by a psychologist. That has also occurred and we received a hefty bill and a 2 sentence letter saying that she is competent to make this decision. One more step done.

I have been in a lot of contact via text and email with her as well to make sure things are going well. She actually called me on Wednesday and we got to talk for about an hour about things. She had finalized her hospital birth plan with our adoption agent the day before and wanted to go over things with me again. I knew most of it already. I also spoke with our agent about a couple things that were a little concerning to me and got them cleared up. Here is the low down:

1.) She fills out the birth certificate and then once the adoption becomes finalized in 6 months we fill out a new one. It really doesn't matter much what she puts on the original one, but our birth mother really wants the name we chose to be on the first one so that there are not any real changes. She does not want to name him and also doesn't want to leave it generic with "baby boy" or something of that nature. She will be putting Wyatt Duane on the birth certificate. She also wants to put our last name on it which I am fine with, but then I was wondering what would happen if she did change her mind. Would there be a guy out there with our last name? I thought that would be odd. It didn't end up being something I needed to be worried about though because our agent said they won't allow her to put our last name on the certificate. It has to have her name on it.

2.) I will be in the room with her and will receive the baby after the c-section. Dusty isn't allowed in the room per her OB (well not him specifically, but only 1 of us is allowed in there) and so she asked if he would be in charge of making sure the birthing plan is followed. That may be hard form the waiting room, but he can do it once he is allowed in. If I am understanding it right, once the baby is born we will be moved to a different room with him to clean him up. She will be undergoing another procedure right after the c-section so she will be out for a little while.

3.) This is where we need A LOT of happy thoughts coming our way. If the hospital has the room, Dusty and I will get our own private suit with the baby where we will stay and take care of him until discharge. the birth mother will be recovering in her own room and waiting for her discharge. She is saying at this time that she doesn't want to see him at all, but that may change and our agent has told us to expect it to since most birth mothers end up wanting to see the baby. Anyway. Our birth mother said that she does not under any circumstance want the baby in the nursery. She thinks it is too impersonal (although I think she just has a misperception picturing him behind glass with 100 other babies and not being able to be held or touched) and so in the instance that we can not get our own room she has it listed that he is to be brought to her room with her. She told me that if that happens then we are to also stay in her room with her and take care of the baby. How awkward is that going to be???? All 4 of us all snug together??? And she won't be at a higher risk to change her mind in this case???????? Aaaaahhh! Ok...deep breath. I just have to tell myself that I have zero control over this and will have to deal with it as it happens. My plan if they don;t have a birthing suite for us is to see if they can move us to a regular inpatient room or not. If that is a no, I plan to see if they could move her to a regular room since she doesn't technically need a whole birthing suit and give us her room, but this might be seen as kicking her out so I don't know how good that would look. I am just hoping they give us a room!!!!


Outside of all of that we are just living along and waiting for the next 1 1/2 weeks to go by. 2 years of hoping, trying, planning and dreaming all comes down to just 1 1/2 weeks. I seem to be vacillating between pure excitement and joy and confidence that we will be bringing him home and then the next day being certain she will keep him and we will come home broken hearted. If that does happen we will be spending that week in California visiting some friends, tasting some wine and horseback riding on the beach.