When we finished all of the paperwork and were made available for presentation, Dusty and I had said we really wanted to get a bassinet and car seat to have just in case. With a normal pregnancy you get roughly 8 months or so to prepare and you have a rough guestimate on the due date. For us, we have no clue. The earliest someone can be chosen is at the beginning of the 3rd trimester which would give us roughly 3 months or so to prepare. But, we could also be chosen by someone who has only 2 weeks or even less to go. I am hoping that we never get into the situation where we are on the emergency list and then get chosen by someone who is either in labor or had just had the baby and we need to leave ASAP (emergency list is reserved for those who have had the birthmother change her mind at time of birth or if you have been waiting for 2 years or more). In theory this does give us some wiggle room to get things in order, but we really want to have the essentials so we are not running around like mad.
We consider a bassinet (place for baby to safely sleep) and car seat (way to get baby home to us) to be the essentials. Yes, we will need formula, diapers, bathing supplies, adorable baby clothes of all sorts (with cute slippers too :) etc... However, that stuff can be added as we go and will be easier to find what we want.
My mom was awesome and bought the bassinet that I posted earlier about. I still love it, but it just really, really, really needs filled now ;) She also got us a cute swing. Now we need the car seat. I have tried shopping for one but they are all ugly and bulky. Most seem to be the car seat/stroller combo these days which does make sense. The base stays in the car and it makes life easier, but man it is bulky. We have no stores really around us that are any good. Toys R Us had some stuff, but I didn't like any of them. We do not have a Babys R Us. I think Target has some and I will look there. I can also check out Walmart, but in general try to avoid that place.
Anyone who has one or knows someone who does have any suggestions??
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Our June Update
*Yes, I know it is July, but this information is about our account activity from June*
Well, the good news is we have another update with good numbers. Bad news is...we have another update... which means we have not been chosen yet. But chin up! I won't let myself stress about it at all mainly because it won't help matters and also because I keep reminding myself that the average is 6-12 months. There are a lot of people waiting and hoping and fewer birthmothers. It will just take some time. I do find myself thinking about it briefly probably about every other day or so. I am not sure if Dusty does the same or not. Every couple/few days I find myself thinking that any moment could bring a phone call full of promise and joy. I don't mind though because it is fleeting and I keep in mind that it is out of my hands now.
Our monthly report had us being presented to 10 birthmothers!! That would fall under the good-great category. With numbers like that we are bound to get chosen sooner rather than later. (On a side note - I do wonder if they could give me more of an average number of presentations prior to being chosen versus time since I would think that visibility would have more of an effect than overall time on the wait list, but anyway...)
Here is the breakdown:
3 birthmothers have been given the profiles, but have not gotten back in contact with the agency. This generally means they have decided to keep the baby and not move forward with placement.
4 birthmothers have been given the profiles and have chosen and matched with another family. While this is a total bummer for us, I am happy that those couples have found their child and that the baby will hopefully grow up with a loving family that they fit in with. This is not purely out of a nice and generous spirit although it really partly is - this means that 4 more couples are off the list :) I was not given any information as to why the specific family was chosen or why we were not.
That leaves us with 3 birthmothers who were given the profiles and have been in contact, but have not chosen yet. These are our hopefuls still :). One was from 6/7, one 6/20 and the other from 6/22. I do not know where the first birhtmother is located but the second is in Ohio and the third in the state of Washington.
In case you are interested the birthmothers who have chosen another family are from:
California
Georgia
Utah
Indiana
Let's keep our fingers crossed and our thoughts happy about the remaining 3 or a new one to choose us soon!!!!
Well, the good news is we have another update with good numbers. Bad news is...we have another update... which means we have not been chosen yet. But chin up! I won't let myself stress about it at all mainly because it won't help matters and also because I keep reminding myself that the average is 6-12 months. There are a lot of people waiting and hoping and fewer birthmothers. It will just take some time. I do find myself thinking about it briefly probably about every other day or so. I am not sure if Dusty does the same or not. Every couple/few days I find myself thinking that any moment could bring a phone call full of promise and joy. I don't mind though because it is fleeting and I keep in mind that it is out of my hands now.
Our monthly report had us being presented to 10 birthmothers!! That would fall under the good-great category. With numbers like that we are bound to get chosen sooner rather than later. (On a side note - I do wonder if they could give me more of an average number of presentations prior to being chosen versus time since I would think that visibility would have more of an effect than overall time on the wait list, but anyway...)
Here is the breakdown:
3 birthmothers have been given the profiles, but have not gotten back in contact with the agency. This generally means they have decided to keep the baby and not move forward with placement.
4 birthmothers have been given the profiles and have chosen and matched with another family. While this is a total bummer for us, I am happy that those couples have found their child and that the baby will hopefully grow up with a loving family that they fit in with. This is not purely out of a nice and generous spirit although it really partly is - this means that 4 more couples are off the list :) I was not given any information as to why the specific family was chosen or why we were not.
That leaves us with 3 birthmothers who were given the profiles and have been in contact, but have not chosen yet. These are our hopefuls still :). One was from 6/7, one 6/20 and the other from 6/22. I do not know where the first birhtmother is located but the second is in Ohio and the third in the state of Washington.
In case you are interested the birthmothers who have chosen another family are from:
California
Georgia
Utah
Indiana
Let's keep our fingers crossed and our thoughts happy about the remaining 3 or a new one to choose us soon!!!!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Q&A Session 2 - Expense Part 3 of 3
Well, nothing new to report on the adoptin front. Next monthly report is due by next Tuesday. It will be interesting to see what the numbers are like after our first full month on the wait list. In a way the report is bad news since we wouldn't need a report had we been chosen, but every month brings us a little closer.
Now to wrap up the expense information.
Phase 3
This is the legal phase. It begins with the birth of the baby and ends after the baby is legally transferred to us. I actually know very little about this since it seems so very far off in the future. There is a lot of behind the scenes paperwork that needs to be done to make the whole thing legal. Once the baby is born and we bring him/her home we have a 6 month period where we are technically "fostering" the baby. Home visits need to take place and timing depends on the agency. Ours has a 1 month, 3 month and 6 month check. They come to the house and make sure the baby is well fed, healthy, happy and advancing per age. At the end we have a court appearance where the judge decides to finalize it or not. There is a small ceremony where we rename the baby if we want and get a new birth certificate with our last name on it. Depending on the state this occurs in, the orignal records can be sealed off (whether we want them to or not) until the baby is 19 or forever. We have no say in all of that. All of this is covered in the legal fees we pay in this phase.
And that is it....well...except for all the adoabel little clothes and hats and shoes and toys and furniture and.....
Now to wrap up the expense information.
Phase 3
This is the legal phase. It begins with the birth of the baby and ends after the baby is legally transferred to us. I actually know very little about this since it seems so very far off in the future. There is a lot of behind the scenes paperwork that needs to be done to make the whole thing legal. Once the baby is born and we bring him/her home we have a 6 month period where we are technically "fostering" the baby. Home visits need to take place and timing depends on the agency. Ours has a 1 month, 3 month and 6 month check. They come to the house and make sure the baby is well fed, healthy, happy and advancing per age. At the end we have a court appearance where the judge decides to finalize it or not. There is a small ceremony where we rename the baby if we want and get a new birth certificate with our last name on it. Depending on the state this occurs in, the orignal records can be sealed off (whether we want them to or not) until the baby is 19 or forever. We have no say in all of that. All of this is covered in the legal fees we pay in this phase.
And that is it....well...except for all the adoabel little clothes and hats and shoes and toys and furniture and.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)