Mini meltdown

I love our agency for matching us with a confident birthmother in a short 3 months. I really do. If we ever decided to go through the process again I think it will be easier knowing how everything works.

What was my melt down over? What our agency seems to not be very good at is filling me in on the details that I want to know in a timely fashion. I have wanted a list from the get go of what to expect and when in the process to expect it. They have not been able/willing to provide this for me. It leaves me feeling like I am in the dark.

Example: We have now met with our birthmother and I know there are plenty of things that need to occur between now and when she delivers. I just have no clue what those things are or when they need done because I keep being told they will let me know when the time comes. What they fail to understand is that we are 2 hours ahead of them and have long work days where we can't just drop everything to do something at the last minute.

So what happened you ask? I had emailed our casse worker the beginning of the week about our visit and asked her what happens next. She said that I will get a call or email from the independent social worker who will be responsible for meeting with the birthmother in advance and going over the paperwork and will also be present at discharge for the paperwork to be signed. I got a phone call and then an email of information from this woman (who is very nice) this afternoon and my head exploded.

In her packet of information she stated very clearly that the birthmother has 30 days to change her mind and ask for the baby back. Huh?!?!?! We were told 5 pm the business day after discharge. Where is this 30 days coming from? I emailed asking her this stating that our agency has told us the above and she responded that the birthmother has 30 days, but could sign a waiver for those 30 days and turning it into 5 pm. So....wait....she could decide not to sign this and we could either a) be stuck in california for 30+ days or b) bring home baby Wyatt and have to give him back 30 days later?????

I then emailed my case worker at the agency and I admit it wasn't the most friendly email I have ever sent. I did re-read it before I sent it, but seriously 2 days versus 30 days is a HUGE deal. I got out of work earlier than anticipated and gave her a call to clear things up. She said that yes, the waiver existed and needs to be signed or she has 30 full days, but that our specific agency does not allow that to happen and so they don't bring it up. Huh? How do they not allow it to happen? well, she said that they inform the birthmother that the adoption won't go forward if she doesn't sign it because it is too risky for the adoptive parents. Long conversation short she has never in 10 years had a birthmother not sign the waiver. Fine, great. Things are wonderful...but in the future it might be nice to warn the adoptive parents in advance so that in an emotionally charged situation things like this don't pop up and push people over the edge. Geesh!

Ok...deep breath and moving on.